Raynaud's Phenomenon (though I don't find it phenomenal in the least) is a condition that is defined as constriction of smaller blood vessels in response to extreme cold. I find this definition to be slightly inaccurate. Most people don't find holding a bottle of water "extreme cold." Most people don't find changing out of their clothes to take a bath to be "extreme cold." Most people don't find cutting vegetables, getting into the refrigerator, or catching a cool breeze to be "extreme cold." But my fingers surely do. In fact, I would go so far as to say, a more accurate definition would be, Raynaud's Phenomenon is a condition that is defined as constriction of smaller blood vessels in response to a lack of extreme heat. There, that works for me.
Some people probably think I jest; in reality, Raynaud's probably saved my life, or at least, extended it. When I was undergoing testing to find out exactly what it was that was wrong with me, being in "extreme cold" in a doctor's office, is what was initially noticed. "Do your fingers and toes turn white when you get cold?" One doctor asked me. "Well yeah, doesn't everyone's?" I thought, how bizarre. I was always the coldest person I knew, the coldest person in the room, the one in the most clothes, always bringing an extra sweater, not sweating in the summer time, getting cold when someone turned on the AC, happy to sleep in socks and at least a sheet year round. But I thought it was normal. I thought everyone had white fingertips when they got "too cold."
Guess I was wrong. I think the grocery store was always the worst for me. Still is. I hate going because I FREEZE. It's practically instantaneous and it's nearly unbearable. How do people work in those places! If nothing else, it keeps me away from frozen foods and requires me to buy fresher, healthier foods, right!? I worked once in a factory that kept its rooms at about 40 degrees. I took my heating pad with me every single day and sat on it. I wore extra sweaters in the middle of July. People thought I was nuts. But I would have to get up and walk around because after a few hours of typing, I wouldn't be able to feel my fingers. I was freezing, literally.
This is how I used to look. I took this picture about seven years ago. People didn't believe me; they certainly didn't understand. I tried to explain, when they turn white, and I mean white, I can't feel them, I can't do anything with them. What am I supposed to do? I'm an administrator, I'm a writer, I have to have use of my hands! So the research went on and on, the medications were plenty. First things first, a blood pressure pill. Wait, what? No way. I hear those things are highly toxic and do more damage to you when you try to get off of them than if you never took them in the first place. "It's the only thing we know to try right now. It will help circulate your blood." Problem: My blood pressure hovers around 100/80. Guess what? Not a good idea. Day four, I was sicker than sick. I was nauseous, dizzy, faint, put me out of my misery delusional. I woke up in the middle of the night one night, and didn't know where I was, in my own home, that I had lived in for four years. "Ok, we'll need you to stop taking those. Your blood pressure is too low." REALLY!
Vitamin E and a baby aspirin are next. Seems pretty harmless. And, after awhile, pretty pointless too. After two years of taking them both, I still have symptoms, I still have Raynaud's, I still get so cold, and I'm spending money on pills it doesn't appear that I need because they're not helping. In fact, now, my entire finger turns white, all the way to the palm of my hand. And it seems like it takes longer for the blood to return. And lord almighty does it hurt!
When they turn black, the pain is immense. There is a lack of oxygen in my fingers at this point and my body is telling me something is wrong. Not that I wasn't already keenly aware of the fact. But this is my least favorite part of the Raynaud's cycle. I would almost wish constant numbness on myself than to get the feeling back. I see this most often when I take a bath. I am not sure if it is because of the quick change from cold to hot that does it, but it sucks the wind right out of my sail! It just feels like someone is pricking me with a thousand needles through my fingers and there's nothing I can do about it.
Currently, I take nothing for the Raynaud's. I have bought everything on the market. Heated gloves (with a 5 pound battery pack on the wrist, that feels great), mittens, (because the heat from your fingers touching each other is supposed to be better than gloves separating them), hot compresses, (they lose their heat quicker when applied to "extreme cold" and they get expensive as many as I go through), topical creams, (don't get me started), essential oils, (they're too expensive to not work), I already don't smoke, I already meditate, I already apply heat regularly. My only vice is caffeine. Who's isn't it?
Today, I sit in my office. It's 70 degrees outside. I have on two shirts, one long-sleeved, and slacks. Below my desk, I have a space heater running on high. And I am cold. A lot of people joke around about women always being cold, or how ridiculous it is that women require so much just to get warm. I assure you, we don't find it funny. The numbness in my fingers these days is pretty much constant, at least a pins and needles kind of tingling. Same thing with my toes, which never used to be a problem at all. These days, I can hardly stand to wear shoes. Literally, I think that broke my heart. In all seriousness though, the ring fingers on both my hands turn white at a one degree temperature drop. My fingernails are basically useless because they're so brittle and thin. And I am constantly aware of the "sausage finger" terminology thrown around for people who have scleroderma, because I am constantly aware of some type of sensation in my hands. Usually, a feeling that they're ready to burst right out of their skin.
I wish I had taken a picture yesterday of my hands after about 20 minutes of yardwork. My palms were completely normal. My fingers were practically doubled in size and they were a fire engine red. I wasn't in any particular kind of pain that I noticed. It was simply that I was using my hands, and they were pissed. Raynaud's has a mind of its own, and if you have it, you know you don't get to argue with it. The only thing that I can really offer to you regarding this is, protect yourself. When your bloodflow is weak or gone, and you injure your fingers, you risk losing them because you need the oxygen to heal. These are the only hands you will ever have. They are worth the care and protection you need to give them.
Some people probably think I jest; in reality, Raynaud's probably saved my life, or at least, extended it. When I was undergoing testing to find out exactly what it was that was wrong with me, being in "extreme cold" in a doctor's office, is what was initially noticed. "Do your fingers and toes turn white when you get cold?" One doctor asked me. "Well yeah, doesn't everyone's?" I thought, how bizarre. I was always the coldest person I knew, the coldest person in the room, the one in the most clothes, always bringing an extra sweater, not sweating in the summer time, getting cold when someone turned on the AC, happy to sleep in socks and at least a sheet year round. But I thought it was normal. I thought everyone had white fingertips when they got "too cold."
Guess I was wrong. I think the grocery store was always the worst for me. Still is. I hate going because I FREEZE. It's practically instantaneous and it's nearly unbearable. How do people work in those places! If nothing else, it keeps me away from frozen foods and requires me to buy fresher, healthier foods, right!? I worked once in a factory that kept its rooms at about 40 degrees. I took my heating pad with me every single day and sat on it. I wore extra sweaters in the middle of July. People thought I was nuts. But I would have to get up and walk around because after a few hours of typing, I wouldn't be able to feel my fingers. I was freezing, literally.
 |
| Seven years ago; times have changed. |
Vitamin E and a baby aspirin are next. Seems pretty harmless. And, after awhile, pretty pointless too. After two years of taking them both, I still have symptoms, I still have Raynaud's, I still get so cold, and I'm spending money on pills it doesn't appear that I need because they're not helping. In fact, now, my entire finger turns white, all the way to the palm of my hand. And it seems like it takes longer for the blood to return. And lord almighty does it hurt!
Currently, I take nothing for the Raynaud's. I have bought everything on the market. Heated gloves (with a 5 pound battery pack on the wrist, that feels great), mittens, (because the heat from your fingers touching each other is supposed to be better than gloves separating them), hot compresses, (they lose their heat quicker when applied to "extreme cold" and they get expensive as many as I go through), topical creams, (don't get me started), essential oils, (they're too expensive to not work), I already don't smoke, I already meditate, I already apply heat regularly. My only vice is caffeine. Who's isn't it?
Today, I sit in my office. It's 70 degrees outside. I have on two shirts, one long-sleeved, and slacks. Below my desk, I have a space heater running on high. And I am cold. A lot of people joke around about women always being cold, or how ridiculous it is that women require so much just to get warm. I assure you, we don't find it funny. The numbness in my fingers these days is pretty much constant, at least a pins and needles kind of tingling. Same thing with my toes, which never used to be a problem at all. These days, I can hardly stand to wear shoes. Literally, I think that broke my heart. In all seriousness though, the ring fingers on both my hands turn white at a one degree temperature drop. My fingernails are basically useless because they're so brittle and thin. And I am constantly aware of the "sausage finger" terminology thrown around for people who have scleroderma, because I am constantly aware of some type of sensation in my hands. Usually, a feeling that they're ready to burst right out of their skin.
I wish I had taken a picture yesterday of my hands after about 20 minutes of yardwork. My palms were completely normal. My fingers were practically doubled in size and they were a fire engine red. I wasn't in any particular kind of pain that I noticed. It was simply that I was using my hands, and they were pissed. Raynaud's has a mind of its own, and if you have it, you know you don't get to argue with it. The only thing that I can really offer to you regarding this is, protect yourself. When your bloodflow is weak or gone, and you injure your fingers, you risk losing them because you need the oxygen to heal. These are the only hands you will ever have. They are worth the care and protection you need to give them.
Comments
Post a Comment